Why Blog?

     There are many reasons as to why I am blogging. One is just so that I can look back a year ago and see my life through my own eyes as I am experiencing things. I hope to be dedicated to this so we'll see if this works! The second is sort of a therapeutic thing. I read somewhere that if you journal at least 2-3 times a week you will be a much happier person. So why not try? Also, within the next year my life is going to change drastically... with moving and going to nursing school and other things on top of that I want to keep family and friends in touch. Jude, my Dad, and his Dad, are all building our own furniture for our apartment so I will share that disaster with all of you ;) Lastly, I am doing this to try to send a message that I wish I would have gotten a long time ago.

      About a year and a half ago I went to a neurologist complaining about headaches. After 32 blood tests and one MRI I finally had an answer. It was a Thursday in March, and I was in my dorm room. My cell phone rang. I knew it was the hospital and I was shaking when I answered. Jude was working out at the time and I didn't have a roommate, so I was all alone at the time. It was my neurologist Dr. Joseph (who is by far the best doctor God could have sent me). She explained to me that after examining the MRI she found a fairly large mass on pineal gland (an extremely small gland in the center of the brain which controls mellatonin production). The first thing I could say was is it a tumor? She answered that she could not be sure due to the size. She usually only sees very small cysts on the gland but due to the size she wasn't sure. She wanted me to come into her office so we could talk more later that week. When I hung up all's I could do was stand there. I literally could not move. Then finally I walked out my door, down two flights of stairs and into my two best friends dorm room, Brittany and Jerica (more gifts from God). I must have looked like a zombie walking down there. When they saw me Brittany immediately asked me what was wrong and I just busted it out and then started crying. After consoling me and calming me down..Jerica looked at their blender and was like "well...would a margarita make you feel better?" That was honestly the best thing I could have heard at that moment. I had the best night of college that night. That is truly one of those "here's to the nights we wont remember with the friends we will never forget" nights.

Jerica, Brittany, and I

        Then, a week later I was sitting in the doctors office with my mom and Jude and Dr. Joseph showed me pictures of my brain and explained everything in full detail. That is when everything hit my like a freight train. Literally, I can't even begin to explain what it feels like to sit in a doctors office and hear that you might have to have your head sliced open. Dr. Joseph told me she wanted me to see a neurosurgeon in Iowa City...if you're from Iowa and you hear Iowa City you know it's not good. At that moment my mom reached over and grabbed my hand, Jude was numb. When the Doctor left we were getting ready to leave. I could see it in my moms eyes...this was not good. She is a nurse and she used to work on a neurological floor. This was the start of my very long journey that I am still on today. I see the neurosurgeon (Dr. Greenlee) every 6 months in Iowa City, and the neurologist every 3 months. Any visit to Iowa City could be the one where he looks at me and says it's time for surgery. I'm not sure how I'll react if I hear that, but here's hoping I never have to find out! As the blog states... there is always a Silver Lining.

           I learned a lesson through all of this that many don't learn until they are much much older than me. Life is precious. Enjoy it. Do not dwell on the negative. Do not sweat the small stuff. Cherish your family more than anything in the world, because they are here for you forever. And I know this one is hard I still struggle with this but, live in the present. Tomorrow may never come. If you want that ice cream eat the stupid ice cream and don't cry over the calories. If you want to travel..go! Drink it down and live it up!

Judey and I enjoying Life in Mexico this past May! We smoked some Cubans, drank A LOT, soaked up sun, didn't count any calories, and enjoyed every minute!! We worked our asses off to pay for this trip but I wouldn't trade these moments for the world! Life is so good!! Do not take it for granted! We are blessed :)